The Calendar
They never miss an opportunity to bitch.
White people, ass-deep in supremacy, ticking around the calendar for National Holidays/ Observances unique to the United States:
Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Day - He was a demon, but we like to quote him to push our agenda.
Black History Month - Hell naw. If we acknowledge Black People, somebody might realize what we did. Gotta keep that common knowledge secret.
Groundhog Day - Let’s see what the rodent does.
President’s Day - Whatever. Are we off?
Memorial Day - Soldiers died. Let’s open up the pool.
Juneteenth - Get da f*ck out of here. We didn’t want you free then. We don’t want you celebrating freedom now. STOP. REMEMBERING. SLAVERY!!!!
Independence Day - YESSSSSSS!! Remember! Remember! Remember! While we do not have a part in the atrocities of our ancestors, we fully share in their victories. Good stuff- That was us. We did it. Anyone who wasn’t free when we gained independence doesn’t count. (That’s why we don’t celebrate Juneteenth or acknowledge anything involving the Indigenous People on a national level.)
Labor Day - Hit the beach one last time; screw over workers anyway.
Columbus Day - We love him, he was soooooo cruel, and didn’t discover a damned thing.
Veterans Day - We don’t actually give a shit about Vets, but it’s a good day to pretend we do.
Thanksgiving - Genocide!! WooHoo!! Let’s be thankful that we have shit other people don’t…and never mention what we’re celebrating.
Kwanzaa — What is it with Black People?!? Why do they need any goddamned thing at all??? We hate that they keep f*cking existing!!!
Jewish Holidays - They used to be cool, but now that we’re running low on people to hate, let’s blow up some Synagogues.
Muslim Holidays - No. Nope. Nopidy nope.
Christian Holidays - We’ll incorporate our days into other celebrations, steal their traditions because God said so. (No news there, we do that with everything.) Our stolen days are now holy (even though we use pagan practices), and any celebration but ours is demonic and not allowed.
Other religious/ ceremonial/ cultural holidays - Not on my calendar. In Amur’ca, we celebrate confederate soldiers and white supremacy. If you’re not down with that, go live somewhere we didn’t steal.
***
Here’s the thing:
Nothing is preventing Thanksgiving from becoming a day to remember the victims and be thankful for those who survived the massacres. You can have turkey with a humble heart and some semblance of awareness.
You can have cookouts and pool parties celebrating the end of slavery. A day to embrace an American achievement, instead of pretending it’s Black entitlement and that the 4th of July represents all of us. The 16 days between Juneteenth and July 4th (including the Summer Solstice and Muharram) could be an ultra-American celebration. Corpus Christi? Throw it in there. American Eagle Day? You betcha. West Virginia Day? Formed during the Civil War? Hell yes, to being a badass! A joyous time from freedom to freedom. A patchwork celebration of what it means to be an American.
But, we can’t have that for the same reason one group of people pretends they are being persecuted because they don’t own December. The idea that the United States is bigger than their personal bubble is too much to handle. They spew enough envy, fear, and hate to cancel everybody’s joy.
They do it because they haven’t been told to f*ck off nearly enough.